Debunking the Top Relationship Myths and Misconceptions.

Here are the top 3 relationship myths – debunked.

You should wait for Mr. / Mrs. Right

It’s one thing to hope that you’ll end up with a partner one day that’s perfect for you. It’s another to wait for someone to sweep you off your feet and hope to live happily ever after. First off, happily ever after does not exist without a tremendous amount of work. Relationships are hard and they take effort. We tend to forget that. We get caught up thinking that finding our “soulmate” will solve all problems. In fact, it can create more stress. A romantic relationship is an important aspect of your life that needs tending to. You have to be ready and willing to work for your relationship. So, just assuming “the one” will come along and everything will be okay will ultimately lead to disappointment.

Another downside to waiting for “Mr. / Mrs. Right” is having the mentality that you need to depend on someone else for your happiness. Of course you want to end up with someone who makes you happy, but it’s essential to be able to create your own happiness. Learning how to love yourself and feel fulfilled on your own is no easy task but one that’s necessary for a successful relationship. This is something those who aren’t single for very long tend to struggle with. Your single time is extremely valuable. You really get to know yourself on a level you might not be able to get to with someone else in the picture.

If you’re single, take full advantage of this time. You will appreciate it in the long run. Remember that two strong individuals make for a strong relationship. Therefore working on yourself will ultimately bring you happiness as an individual as well as in your current / potential relationships.

Being in a relationship is better than being single

With societal pressure from friends, family and what we see online, it seems like we should be in a relationship by the time we reach a certain age. And if we’re not, it feels like we’ve failed. Not being in a relationship is by no means a failure. Don’t think of being in a relationship as being a good thing or a bad thing. You need to do what works for you. Not everyone is ready for a relationship at the same time. Or you are ready and become frustrated when dating isn’t going your way. It’s all a learning process.

Like waiting for “the one” to come along, life shouldn’t be solely focused on your relationship. There are other aspects of your life like career, friends, family and doing things you love to do. Certainly it’s nice to find companionship and if that’s something you want, the day will come. In the meantime, embrace your independence and learn put yourself first.

It can be difficult to differentiate what you actually want vs what you “should” be doing. You might think you should get married and have a family because that’s what society tells you. But is that what you want? If it is, great. If it’s not, that’s great too. When you finally realize what you want, it’s almost like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. Try not to let everyone else’s opinions get in the way of what you really want in a relationship and in life.

You should sacrifice parts of yourself if you really love your partner

This is a tough one as relationships are all about compromise. But you have to decide, at what cost? What aspects of yourself or your relationship are you willing to sacrifice? And do so without resentment? We’ve been taught that if we love someone, we should be willing to do anything for them. Consequently, this can backfire. If you feel like you’re making so many sacrifices when your partner isn’t doing the same, how would that make you feel? A relationship should feel equal, and when it seems like one person is making all of the sacrifices, arguments are sure to follow. When you care for yourself and make yourself a priority, it will help you better care for others (in particular, your significant other).

We often see one partner trying to change too much of themselves to fit the other partner’s needs. Sometimes we want so badly to make something work. This can be for security, fear of starting over, etc). As a result, we end up sacrificing important parts of ourselves (things that make you, you) in order to do so. When this starts happening, you start losing the specialness that completes you. And what for? No one loves every single thing about their partner, but it’s when you can accept their imperfections that makes the relationship work. So if your partner cannot accept your imperfections then maybe it’s time to start reconsidering this relationship.

This is a tricky myth, as relationships will always involve sacrifice. But if you feel you’re sacrificing parts of yourself that make you who you are, ultimately you’ll find yourself resenting your partner.

Relationship myths are just that. Myths. They are things we’ve heard and assume are true. Everyone is unique and has different needs. Because of this, no two relationships are the same. Above all, take time to focus on yourself and be the best possible you. This goes for this in a relationship or single (and something to keep in mind beyond Valentine’s Day!) Being the best version of yourself will better all of the relationships in your life. This includes your potential or current romantic relationship (if you so choose to be in one).