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Challenges In Lovemaking

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Lovemaking is a key sustaining factor of marriage. A marriage without lovemaking is like a job without salary. Partners who enjoy lovemaking often performs better in whatever they do in life.

Notwithstanding the enjoyment and excitement that comes it, challenges are encounted along the way. These challenges if not handled well could seriously wreck the marriage. Exclusive to www.adwoaadubianews.com

  1. PREMATURE EJACULATION:

Before a man may request for sex, he would have been in the mood and psychologically perform 30% of the act in mind. Therefore if there is no medical problem, the man is likely to release sperm without the woman achieving orgasm first. That is why we recommend that couples engage in foreplay till the woman herself request for the penetration of the penis into her vagina. Nevertheless, there are occasions that premature ejaculation may occur without an intent of the man to do so. We refer to this as sexual error. It becomes a nuisance when premature ejaculation is frequent (medical attention is therefore needed here). We therefore urge women to understand this and bear with their men when this happens. Sexual intercourse last for a period of 5-20 minutes on a normal day, for the man to ejaculate. If we want to exceed this time in a healthy way, then there is the need to prolong the foreplay so that the woman can also achieve orgasm.

  1. PERFORMANCE ANXIETY:

There are times that one or both partners are of wrong state of mind or one partner has a high expectation to perform by the other. This makes one partner, especially the man performs unpardonable sexual errors. The act of lovemaking begins from the brain; the state of mind is critical to sexual performance. A man with unstable mind can perform badly at sex without control of his ejaculation. The man might also be performing well but a woman with a bad state of mind will have difficulty in achieving orgasm, no matter how hard the man will try. It is therefore important that we concentrate on the activity at that moment to get the satisfaction we desire, even if nothing at all; the satisfaction of our partner. Exclusive to www.adwoaadubianews.com

  1. MUSCLE PULL:

This is where one or both partners’ legs or arms muscles contract to make it uncomfortable to perform the intercourse. This is usually caused by unprepared muscles or lack of physical exercise or uncomfortable sex positions. Most often, we choose sex positions that we presume to be nice for us without considering the ability of our body to perform without any muscle injury. It is very disheartening when muscle pull happens in the middle of the excitement and you cannot continue the activity to the satisfaction level. We therefore recommend that you prepare your muscles for the activity and you choose a suitable sex position to help you or your partner prevent this discomfort; as it quenches the sexual excitement.

  1. FEAR OF GENITALS:

It will shock you that some people are afraid their partner’s sex organ to the extent that having sexual intercourse with him/her becomes a herculean task to perform. Fear of genital is a situation where one or both partners are afraid of the sex organs during the encounter and therefore loses interest, concentration or the desire to perform. Someone will say it is therefore important to see each other’s nakedness before the marriage ceremony. Ah well, I cannot prevent you but can you see the nakedness and walk away? If you can control yourself and would not feel cheated after your genital is seen and the partner walks off the relationship because of the size? The truth is, no matter the size of the penis of a man, a woman’s vagina can accommodate the penetration; only that the genitals must be wet to prevent injury and discomfort to the vagina.

  1. RAPE IN MARRIAGE:

Yes, there is rape in marriage. It is not always the case that rape occurs outside marriage. When one spouse have sexual intercourse without the consent of the other, rape in marriage has occur. Mutual consent needs to be sought in almost everything we do in marriage, including sexual intercourse. When a spouse declines sex and the other partner uses force to have sexual intercourse, that spouse has been raped and it’s a punishable offence. It’s a very difficult issue to report for discipline, especially if you still want to maintain the marriage. A lot of people are raped and some also rape others in marriage. When this happens, one or both parties are likely to injure themselves because there will be struggles before the sexual intercourse is allowed to performed. It might sometimes be deliberate or not deliberate depending on the circumstance at hand at that moment. 7 out of 10 couples go through rape in marriage at some point in the marriage but decline to report due to security of the marriage. It is when it becomes prevalent that some spouses report for action to be taken on the culprits.

  1. ATTITUDE TOWARDS SEX:

In a marriage where one partner is undersexed and other partner is oversexed creates a lot of problems which when not properly handled, can wreck the marriage. The undersexed partner often has a negative mindset about sex, unlike the oversexed partner. This causes discouragement during lovemaking as one partner has the desire to perform whereas the other loses the passion because he or she is not interested in sex. Sometimes too, when one is too spiritual, their sex life becomes bad because most of those people have the notion that regular sexual intercourse with your spouse than prayers, weakens you spiritually. This is wrong as the scripture says in 1Cor. 7:3 to render due benevolence to our partner. Therefore we need to change our mindset about sex.

In conclusion, sexual challenges occur in every marriage. The most important thing to do is to identify the particular problem, the cause, effect and solution or preventive measures. We should also try to commit ourselves to the sexual intercourse or the lovemaking, to help get rid of some of these challenges. Sexual pleasure contributes a lot to marriage sustenance and as such, we must pay particular attention to it in our marriage. Exclusive to www.adwoaadubianews.com

By: Counsellor Benjamin Effah Werehene

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