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I Enjoy Beatings Before & During Sex

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When you heard of this phrase, we are referring to sexual violence in marriage. It may seem soothing in the ears of the victims whiles the culprits may face serious anxiety hearing this. It is a practice in most relationships that rarely come out to the public.

There are some partners in relationship/marriage who prefer being beaten, bitten, pinched, scratched, etc. before and during every act of sex or intercourse. It is what makes them feel better and satisfied sexually. Without it, they never enjoy sex to their satisfaction.

It might be in the form of a partner who likes to be beaten or a partner who beats the other to get aroused and enjoy the sexual act. At first, the other partner may feel uncomfortable doing but if it prolongs, it become enjoyable and soon both will enjoy this practice before and during every sexual acts.
A story of a Client:
There was a time where a client approached me as a Counsellor and complained about the ordeal she was going through. She confessed that she is married to a man who always likes to molest, beat and squeeze her body to get arousal and enjoy sex with her.

At first, she was uncomfortable but couldn’t resist or refuse because she loved and wanted to make him happy and satisfied. As the relationship grew, the act was getting frequent and painful, the need to voice out began to take root in the heart of the woman. She started complaining to the husband, who turned deaf ears and further threatened to murder her if she tell anyone.

She said sometimes she receives slaps, pinches, scratches and violent sex from her husband that leaves bruises and some skin swellings. When anybody asks, she would say either she got burnt or developed some rashes that has turned into sores. There were times she got pregnant and this violence gave her miscarriage.

The other saddest thing about it was that, the husband sometimes feels guilty seeing her wife in such conditions but couldn’t help than to repeat the act. She told the husband to seek counselling but all efforts proved futile. One day during the sexual act, the husband as usual hit her but so unfortunate for her, she got her head hit the wall and got severely injured.

The wound took a long time to heal but the period of recovery, the husband still wanted to do it again, which she refused which resulted in a heated argument leading to loggerheads. At that point, she realized she might lose her life for the husband while the husband lives to enjoy his life. She then decided to seek for help and eventually came to see me. At the end of it, the husband wasn’t willing to change and the marriage was therefore dissolved.

Sexual violence is a disheartening act regardless of who does it and who enjoys it. It can lead to bruises, emotional disorder, drug abuse, lack of sexual satisfaction, suicide, murder and divorce. It can go a long way to make our kids violent and mental disorder. It’s a Criminal Offence according to the Domestic Violence Act of Ghana 2007 (Act 732).

The fact is, there are so many ways to get aroused for sex or enjoy sexual satisfaction without abusing your partner sexually or violently. Look for a Marriage Counsellor, Sex Therapist or A Psychologist to help you. The consequences of this act is so damaging and get rid of your self-esteem or that of your partner. You could be jailed for a long time if the act is reported by your partner or it’s discovered that your partner died out of that act.
Solution for the Abused and or Abuser:
1. If you are a believer, pray about it.
2. Talk to your partner about it; share your feelings.
3. See a Counsellor or a Psychologist.
4. Report the abuser to the nearest Domestic Violence & Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU office).
5. Report the abuser to his/her family.
6. Attend Counselling Sessions with your partner.
Stop Sexual violence now!!! Marriage and Sex is to be enjoyed and not endured!!!

By: Counsellor Benjamin Effah Werehene
Facebook: Counsellor Effah Werehene
E-mail: benjaminwerehene@gmail.com

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