Contemporary, matters of global exposure and glimpses of modernity had rendered some practices of our forefathers and elders as primitive and antiquated.
Notwithstanding the fact that stature is a by-product of status, and cannot be a prerequisite for marriage, it’s significance however, is the aspect where a wife or spouse is constantly expected to be submissive to the husband, either in public or private as a result of his HEADSHIP.
Meanwhile it is subject to conditionalities.
Respect is earned, not by a person’s stature, but by what emanates from him or her.
Our forefathers, by their experience and traditional laurels haven been achieved through rich cultural antecedence, can determine a rightful partner who can be compatible to whoever.
At the level of a female CEO, a male partner is expected to be groomed and conscientized to know that such a spouse will constantly fraternize and mingle with nexus of people of her class.
Such scenarios warrant a CEO of that class to be in a cloud or shadow of like minded husband or wife in order to acclimatize to the norms of prestige life.
But adversely, female CEOs or women with prestige class (bourgeoisie) and ostentatious lifestyle gets to a level where getting a rightful partner becomes extremely difficult because, their stature and status psychologically deprives them from being submissive.
Spirit of humility is no longer part of their itinerary. On the part of the opposite sex, too, the fear of God is a non contentious matter. Condescension takes center stage against the spirit of love and respect for each other.
Biblically, God placed man at the pinnacle of headship and leadership (with woman in his shadow), meaning, however the status of man, there should be, or the necessity of a woman in the life of man (suitable to match him) becoming an ultimate priority, must first be considered, likewise woman too (Gen 1:26).
Another argument of subjectivity to headship and stature is the church and her administrative structure.
With my wife being the founder, leader, General Overseer, Prophetess and whatever, of a church, that accolades alone codifies a cloud around her that overshadowed the husband, being probably one of the junior Pastors.
At that unfortunate spectacle, the husband, agreed or not, must be elevated to be amongst the top echelon in order to compliment the STATURE of the spouse.
Anything short of that becomes a recipe for incompatibility.
These things as we see, is a powerful tool that the devil is using to disintegrate probable couples owing to the fact that none is ready to submit to the other.
It is one thing agreeing to marry, with each other being in their own class, and it is another, understanding the post stigmatization that is attached to such relationships.
Two captains cannot coexist in same ship.
Akosua Dubai therefore, being wealthy, isn’t an issue, but her readiness, ability and commitment to adjust to the level of the husband to compliment her public image is vital.
It is godly, if not egoistic, because stature as attained through status can influence one to become snobbish — that’s availing oneself more importantly than the other.
Typical of the African monarch, two kings cannot ride in the same palanquin. One must walk while the other rides shoulder high.
A husband and wife both academicians (Professors) is a spectacle to watch.
What makes the difference is the spirit filled woman, a wife, a mother, and a companion to the husband WHILE AT HOME. And outside the home, let your stature as Professor rule in conjunction with spirit filled humility as a married woman.
The example of Akosua Dubai kept coming. Her inability to see that the difference between her and the husband is her seeing herself first as a woman, a wife and a mother, with her wealth being a flavor to the relationship.
The temptations to use wealth as economic demagogue (money bag) leaves a spouse with no option than to pretend to love and the other pretending to be a husband.
What does that mean?
He or she who could no longer bear it will fizzle out becoming a runaway wife or husband.
This is where the African proverb, “Monkey dey work baboon dey chop” rightly fits into.
A husband who feels segregated as a result of him being overshadowed would clandestinely be chopping whilst the baboon busily manufactures the goodies.
He who (as a degree holder) opts for a basic school graduate must be fully committed to endure the stigma that comes along with it, and vice versa.
Irrespective of those inevitable stigmatization, Akosua Dubai and the likes can be a spectacle of wonderful wife and a mother to emulate, by probably elevating the husband (who should be God fearing) to the level of BUSINESS PARTNER, subject to the trust and integrity repost in the husband.
My simple advice is, if you know ab initially (that’s from the onset) that you don’t have the requisite spirit to be humble as a wife (in spite of being the bank roller), or your ability to love your wife (inspite of your stature as CEO) however her status, please drop him or her even before incubation.
Stature really does matter in relationship.
To be continued.
Sammy Ladzekpo.
