Is sex the only form of cheating in marriage, the answer is NO. Often times, we shift our focus on cheating to extra marital affair or sex outside the marriage. We are however ignorant about the other serious or dangerous forms of cheating in marriage. Whatever you benefits but hide from your partner is called cheating.
That does not mean that even if you show to your partner but do without his or her consent is not cheating. Marriage is a partnership adventure and mutual agreement is a necessity in decision making. The other forms of cheating in marriage is explained below:
Hidden projects:
When you purchase a land or build a project in a form of building or Mansion and you hide from your partner, it is classified as a form of cheating. Especially, when your partner is directly or indirectly involved in the aspect of assisting you financially, emotionally, and or supporting in whatever way without your partner knowing what you are using these resources for.
There are instances where partners who engage in such projects die without completion and the project becomes the sleeping place for paupers and robbers’ hideouts.
Undisclosed money or investments:
Wealth acquired after marriage belongs to both partners, regardless of who earns it. When you toil together with your partner and he or she hides money or make financial investment without your knowledge or consent, it is called cheating. When we marry, we don’t have my money, it is our money no matter who earns it. Nevertheless each partner must work hard to support the building of the family.
Thinking that you toil to earn the money means it’s your personal property and can be used for your personal benefits without your partner’s consent is a below the belt thought. You may invest a huge sum of money and hit the rocks in the event of uncertainties. How would you explain to your partner? Would you lie, that you wanted to surprise him/her? Think about it!!!
Undisclosed children:
Having a child or children outside of the marriage and hiding them is another serious form of cheating. It may be that you deliberately or by a mistake had a sexual affair outside the marriage and resulted in pregnancy by which your counterpart denied aborting the pregnancy and therefore got a child out of it.
Remember that no matter how you hide this, the truth will be uncovered someday. Oftentimes people say, so far as the child will not be living with them in the matrimonial home, there is no need disclosing to their partner. Transparency and openness should be exhibited right from the courtship through to the marriage and nothing should be hidden from any partner.
External affair:
When you have any intimate relationship outside the marriage without your partner’s consent it is also cheating. It might not be necessarily involving in sexual act but it might be a close friendship or relationship with the opposite sex. It is advised that you let your partner know about all your friends and be open to him or her about any sexual or lustful temptations that may confront you.
To avoid suspicion and lustful temptations, you need to disclose to your partner your friend and set boundaries to remain safe in the process. When you think there is no need disclosing your friendship with the opposite sex to your spouse, it implies that you are cheating on him or her.
Secret society:
If you happen to join any secret or an occultic society, you have to let your partner know of it. He or she may even like to join….😁…. Although I am not encouraging this, you cheat on your spouse if you do not disclose to him or her. If you think it is for your personal interest, so it doesn’t concern your partner or you need to hide from your partner you are probably cheating.
The effect of these societies may either be enjoyed or endured by the family and not you alone. Suppose you ignorantly joined an occultic society and you deemed it not necessary to inform your spouse and uncertainties begin to befall the family as a result of this and you need to explain. How are you going to make your spouse understand the situation?
Hidden weakness or sickness:
Any undisclosed form of sickness or weakness that a spouse may have, that might in one way or the other affect the marriage or the family is another serious form of cheating in marriage. It might be that you accidentally got that sickness or you are also weak in some aspects of your life whether in bed (sexual performance) any other form. If you fail to disclose it, you cheat on your partner and the consequence can lead to the wreck of your marriage. Transparency and openness should prevail in your marriage.
Secret job or position:
Having been directly or indirectly engaged in a job or a position without disclosing to your spouse is called cheating. This is because you benefits without his or her consent and falls to the principle of transparency and openness. It might be that your partner may take advantage of your job or new position and make some demands or otherwise, that does not prevent you from disclosing it to him or her.
A curse having negative implications on the marriage:
It might be that there is a curse on your family or on yourself that is having effects or can cause a negative effect on the marriage. You may think that disclosing it to your partner might wreck your marriage, so therefore you might decide to hide it. It might also be that you had an abortion and your womb has been fractured and you have decided not to disclose to your spouse or partner because he may leave you or divorce you.
This usually happens to ladies who have series of unhealthy abortions that led to health complications and got their wombs removed. Since almost every man want a child in marriage and the lady stands to lose the man, she may decide to hide it from the man until posterity finally judges.
In conclusion, whatever decisions or activities you engaged at the blind side of your spouse is tantamount to cheating. Let us be mindful of focusing only on external sexual affair as the only form of cheating in marriage. We should also try as much as possible to be open and transparent in our marriage to get rid of the vices explained above.
By Counsellor Benjamin Effah Werehene
