Here’s how to make your relationship last from the jump. Almost all couples who are in a serious and committed relationship want to make it last forever. Who wants to invest their time, effort, and emotion in someone who’ll break their heart in the end, right?
People in long-term, healthy relationships exhibit some common behaviors. It takes more than communication, trust, and love to have a healthy relationship. If you are in a new relationship and wonder what you should do to have the best chance of being with your partner forever, consider trying these behaviors.
1. Accept each other for who you are.
Do you and your partner accept each other for who you are without trying to change each other? If the answer is yes, then most likely you’ll stay together longer even for a lifetime. Accepting your partner for who they are means you accept his beliefs, weaknesses, and habits whether they are the same as yours (or not).
Trying to change a man may just cause problems because you’re telling him that you’re unsatisfied with him and you don’t admire him. This will emasculate him and may lessen his love for you.
Whatever bad habits he may have that you don’t like, if he really loves you and he feels that he’s accepted, he’ll change these habits just to please you.
2. Learn to apologize sincerely.
Apologizing does not mean that you are guilty or responsible for the conflict.Apologizing, especially when what you have done has caused the other person pain, is necessary because it can open doors to communication. This will help you to reconnect with the person you have hurt.
It sometimes serves as the guide to resolution and restoring positive feelings, thus repairing your relationship.
3. Have a life outside of your relationship.
A healthy relationship does not mean that you should always be with your partner 24/7. You should leave some space for each other’s personal growth. Being with your partner all the time can be suffocating and you may both lose your personal identity or your true self.
This may also lead to blaming your partner that you have missed so much in your life because you worry that not spending all your time with him could ruin your relationship.
You and your partner have your own goals, dreams, hobbies, interests, and purpose. Both of you need to pursue all of these for your own personal happiness and self-fulfillment.
So don’t be afraid to ask for your personal space and also to give your partner his own personal space as well.
The one who blasts you after revealing your past can’t take it; it is not worth your heart and your time. Of course unless it was something that you did that was Mental or that you killed someone for a cause
4. Don’t blame your partner for your relationship unhappiness.
Sometimes, when you’re frustrated, stressed, disappointed, or even bored in your relationship, you tend to blame your partner because of your own unhappiness. It’s easier to see your partner’s faults.
If you want to be happy in your relationship, you need to stop focusing your attention to your partner’s imperfections. Instead, you should focus more on how you’re going to change the way you react to your partner’s flaws and your behavior.
5. Show your appreciation.
Appreciating a person makes them feel good about the effort that they have exerted. Sometimes you forget to say “thank you” to your partner when you’re used to him always helping you. Not acknowledging your partner’s effort makes them feel they’re being taken for granted.
When you show your appreciation to your partner, you make them feel that they’re valuable and mean a lot to you. They’ll feel happy and loved because you make them feel that you’re grateful for what they did and in return, they’ll make you’ll feel appreciated when you do something for them.
6. Keep relationship private and off social media.
Keeping your relationship private is not the same as keeping your relationship a secret. It means you should keep your relationship sacred and away from the influence of people and their opinions.
Please it is good, but before you do, first get to know him better, learn how he responds to certain things, that will inform you as to how he will react and it will help you know how to say it. Some past stories are better shared after you have progressed into a certain level of intimacy.(Intimacy here is not sex…but deep knowledge about each other)
Nowadays, social media has become a personal diary for most of us a digital diary that contains all your memories, experiences, and emotions. The thing is, instead of keeping our diary private, we share this to the World Wide Web where people can see our entries or posts.
When you are now getting to know them and you throw certain bombs, they can block the lenses of getting to know you better and it may lead to prejudice subsequently. Every time you share or post about your relationship on social media, you open up to people’s opinion; not everyone will rejoice with you in your happiness. Plus, you are putting pressure on your relationship.
There’s nothing wrong in posting and sharing your relationship on social media as long as it is in moderation and you are cautious of what you are sharing. Not all couples are the same, but most couples who are in a long-term relationship have these common behaviors in keeping their relationships strong and long-lasting.
Yes exactly because he should know you. The past carries some Ghosts that frighten of course. But better unlock the ghosts before it is too later. Let me add on there, if you weigh his response to certain issues and you figure he will mess up with the past you have, then frankly you might never let him in on it
But love does not keep account of wrong, the truth is of the person is afraid if who you were and is not afraid of who you are today the better for you
Give the your partner the chance to react good or bad to your past to know him or her.Dont hide it if it is sensitive and will most definitely hurt if he gets to know it from someone else or he gets to know it later
There are big past issues that need not be spoken of at all and those ones are the ones that have no bearing on your new relationship whatsoever If so, then it okay to keep it away
For instance, the fact that you used to have sex in a certain position with your ex which was new to to the two of you alone. It should not be told at all to your new partner if that position has not hurt you significantly that it will be a topic on your wedding night. Stay away from telling you new partner a thing like this.
Stay away from telling your new partner how you went to church with your ex and how you used to hold hands while you both went to church and yet you know you don’t do that with your partner today and you are freely telling him or her. You know you don’t hold hands with your new partner at all… Why tell a past like this. Come on… Be smart and be wise
In conclusion, know what to tell and what not to tell, if it has a bearing on the new relationship please it must not definitely be told to your new partner If it has no bearing what so ever on your new relationship please let it be.
If it cost you so much that you picked up a mindset that now worries you, let your new partner know, it’s not yours to change a man or woman. It is matter of God remember this. Now the day you decide to change your partner, you take it from Gods hands. Change is in difference dimensions.
A partner can help his/her beloved change their outward appearance but if the change is emotional, or a state of mind or spiritual, then that one my dear it goes beyond your ability to cause a change. Let God, the Word, a counselor, A man of God or A psychologist helps in that regard.
By Emmanuel Akoto Osei.