R: Request what you need to get back to a healthy relationship
This step goes hand-in-hand with the “O: Open conversations”. Now is the time to discuss what happened and how things can be resolved.
You need to discuss how the trust was broken, what is required to heal the relationship, and how your relationship will work moving forward.
It is important that your requirements and expectation for the other party are reasonable. If you set the bar too high and expect to much, you are setting the person and relationship up for failure.
For example, if it was a situation of infidelity, you can’t expect them to never talk to someone of the opposite sex ever again. Setting that rule or expectation is unreasonable. It is also likely to be broken the first day, which means you will feel further violated and the trust undermined once again.
Set reasonable expectations to regain trust.
Things such as transparency with phone records, text, and emails going forward is a reasonable expectation.
Discuss these matters without making demands. Talk about what would make you feel comfortable and help to rebuild the trust.
If the other party cares enough, they will be willing to meet your reasonable requests.
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