Sex before marriage is the situation where partners who wish to get married engage themselves in a sexual intercourse before marriage. This is a topic that creates a lot of controversies between Pastors and Counsellors.
Pastors will discourage sex before marriage according to the Holy Bible which serves as a guide for their worship and service as stipulated in 1Thessalonians 4:2-7. Counsellors and other people hold a different view about this subject too.
The Pastors are of the view that the most dangerous kind of soul ties (sexual bondage) are created through sexual intercourse. Having sex with someone you love ties you up emotionally and spiritually and seal your relationship in an unbreakable bond. If the relationship fails to end up in marriage, you experience recurring challenges in your next relationship which may last very long.
Exclusive to www.adwoaadubianews.com. That is why it is not good and advisable to have sex before you marry as it is also against the laws of the Holy Bible…1Thessalonians 4:2-7. The Lord says sex is reserved for the married and marriage is sacred. Sex before marriage might also result in mistrust and unfaithfulness should the relationship give rise to marriage. If you cannot control your sexual desire before marriage, how can you control it after marriage?
If you engage in pre-marital sex and marry, your partner feels insecure whenever you are not together or when one travels. This will spark unnecessary monitoring and jealousy and might result in breakdown of the marriage.According to Counsellors, when talking about this subject, there are certain things you need to take into consideration: the olden day marriage verses the contemporary marriage, the Biblical perspective verses the reality on the ground and weighing the advantages and the disadvantages.
The Olden Day Marriage Verses The Contemporary Marriage:
Back in the olden days, self-discipline sexually before marriage was prevalent and hardly did we had the cases of barrenness and low sexual performance. What do we see of today’s relationship and marriage (Contemporary Marriage)?
A lot of sexual immorality and lack of self-discipline sexually during relationship and before marriage is becoming the order of the day. As such, Counsellors think going by the Biblical principle won’t help the contemporary marriage.
Exclusive to www.adwoaadubianews.com. This is because a lot of marriage problems of late are sexual related and most of them is a result of “no sex” before marriage.
The Biblical perspective verses the reality on the ground:
According to 1Thessalonians 4:2-7, having sex with someone you are not married to, makes you unholy and thieves of yourselves. As such, sex before marriage is not permitted by the Holy Bible. Moreover, the Solemnization of Holy Matrimony with a veil means the two partners have not consented to each other sexually.
A Pastor using the Holy Bible as a guide to Counsel, in no way can recommend sex before marriage because it is against that guide. The reality on the ground is that, even though the Bible is the Past, the Present and the Future, people have evolved and as some people remain self-disciplined sexually, others are carelessly playing around sexually.
These people eventually hook up together in relationship that often lead to marriage.
Since one might be experienced in sex and the other novice, then there is the need experiment as to whether they will be compatible sexually. Failure to do so might or might not affect the marriage. In other words, there is this subject also called over-sexed and under-sexed that is also taken into consideration when talking about the reality on the ground.
Over-Sexed: You or your partner might have addicted to plenty of sexual intercourse as a result of lifestyle or nature; this is what we call over-sexed. It is recommended that you discuss and find out from your partner, because you may have the opposite desire, cannot meet his/her sexual desires and might therefore cause him/her to cheat or seek sexual pleasure outside the marriage. Under-Sexed:
When a person is under-sexed, his/her sexual desire or pleasure is low. He/she does not desire much sex and might not frequently enjoy sex. Over and under-sexed is a very critical issue that if partners are not of the same side, needs to be counselled or work it out before it generates marital discomforts.
By: Counsellor Benjamin Effah Werehene
Facebook: Counsellor Effah Werehene