Weighing the advantages and the disadvantages:
Advantages of Pre-Marital Sex
1. How about finding out if you’re sexually compatible before committing yourself to a lifetime of disappointment, or worse cheating?
2. Experience: The more you do something, the better you become at it. Do you really want to feel nervous about having sex on your wedding night because you’re afraid, or do you want to be confident and be able to enjoy the moment?
3. Variety is the spice of life. So spice up your life. Even if you do settle down, you will always have those memories. The events don’t shape who you are, it is who you are that shapes events.
4. There’s less pressure on performance. If you don’t please someone who you haven’t made a commitment to, then there’s no loss. You can always move on. Whereas the one who is your marriage partner has a lot of hope invested in your performance. If you have no experience you may let him/her down. Exclusive to www.adwoaadubianews.com.
Disadvantages of Pre-Marital Sex
1. Dangerous Infections: When you engage in Pre-marital sex, you stand the risk of getting dangerous sexually transmitted infections such as Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, HIV/AIDS, etc. This is because you do not know the health status of the person and he/she won’t tell you there is an infection with him/her. You might think of protection but remember protections also fail some times.
2. Used and Dump: Pre-marital sex is not a guarantee for marriage. Not all those who engage in pre-marital sex are after marriage; most of them are to flirt and move on. He/she may entice you with emotional fantasies and material things to get you to bed and afterwards break the relationship.
3. Unwanted Pregnancy: How many people engage in pre-marital sex with the expectation of a pregnancy? Hardly do you see or hear this, because no one want to mess up his/her reputation by getting pregnant before marriage but yet such people engage in pre-marital sex knowing that there is the tendency of pregnancy. You may be using protection but just as I said earlier, protections fail some times and you can’t estimate when they will fail.
4. Spiritual Implications: Do you know the kind of spirit your partner possesses? Some people might be spiritually married and most of the spirit are jealous that they will marry anybody who have sex with their spiritual spouse; or cause harm to the culprit without giving a second thought. Since it is against the Holy Bible, there is no divine protection for those who engages in pre-marital sex. There are some people if you have pre-marital sex with them, your life completely become a mess.
5. Blackmail: Blackmail is when someone tries to get money from you or make you do what they want by threatening to tell other people your secrets. In other words, it occurs when someone tries to make you do what they want by making threats or by making you feel guilty if you do not do it. The intention of some people who comes in to have pre-marital sex with you is to emotionally blackmail you and not for love or marriage. They come in craftily giving you assurance of marriage and later traps you.
Conclusion:
Sex before marriage will always be a controversy between Pastors and Counsellors based on the principles they operate within the Counselling context. But for you, you can decide on your own, having read the advantages and the disadvantages. God has given each and every one a freedom of choice so based on your conscience, derive your own judgment; if you think sex before marriage is good for your marriage life, go by it; if you think it is not good too, then advise yourself.
Weigh the advantages and the consequences of doing it and staying out of it. Many couples who had sex before marriage are experiencing countless difficulties in their marriage while others have benefited from sex before marriage. On the other hand, those who stayed out of sex until they got married are enjoying their marriage whereas others are facing the trauma of bitter complains because they never had any idea or experience of having sex. The choice is yours!!!
By: Counsellor Benjamin Effah Werehene
Facebook: Counsellor Effah Werehene
