Signs Your Boss Secretly Has A Crush On You
Navigating any sort of office romance can be tricky. You’d better figure out whether the other party is just a work spouse— or something more. You’ve got to make sure you say all the right things. And, perhaps most importantly, you need to be prepared to have things blow up in your face.
However, what if the romance in question involves someone having a crush on you? And what happens if that someone is your boss?
Needless to say, things can get complicated. First and foremost, it’s important to determine whether your boss really has a crush on you.
Here are signs your boss may have a crush.
1. You have a gut feeling
What to do when you realize your boss secretly has a crush on you
If they text you randomly, flirt with you in the office, or invite you to hang outside of work, you might be dealing with a doting boss. But before you decide to sit back and enjoy the benefits of their admiration, there are a few things you should know.
Gut instincts aren’t whims. They’re your subconscious on steroids. It’s putting hundreds of facts together, with the ultimate result being an emotion or physical feeling — in this case, of discomfort or irritation. If you’re unhappy or angry about the situation, you’re right.
2. They flirt
Carefully observe how the boss treats other colleagues before leaping to any conclusions. “They may be a very effusive, gregarious person who simply behaves that way with everyone because they’re a people pleaser. And even if your boss flirts with you from time to time, again, consider how they are with other colleagues — they may be a naturally flirtatious person who really means no harm.
And also consider your own actions. Are they flirting with you simply because you’ve been a little flirtatious with them? Be very cautious when interpreting someone else’s intentions behind their actions.
And if you determine that you’re the only one they flirt with, and it’s not a result of your behavior toward them, then this is a strong sign they’re crushing on you.
3. They regularly schedule private or late-night meetings
If you’re occasionally asked to stay beyond normal business hours and have a legitimate joint project to work on, that’s one thing
But if you start seeing a pattern of being singled out, and the meetings are always running late — or there are too many unnecessary private meetings — then your boss may be trying to go beyond a professional scope.
Keep in mind that if you’re uncomfortable with these actions and you continue to comply with these requests, things will get worse.
4. They call or text you for no particular reason
Most managers have a heavy workload, so when they take the time just to call you randomly without a real reason to talk, then it can be a sign that they are thinking about you a bit more than they should be.
5. Their body language is playful or sensual
Check their body language and eye contact. If you catch them stealing glances at you often or sustaining eye contact longer than is comfortable for you, then this could be a sign,.
6. They give you preferential treatment
Yes, it could be simply because they respect you and trust your abilities, but if it crosses over into clear favoritism — for example, they offer you opportunities that you know in your heart you don’t deserve — then it might be a sign then they like you a little too much.
Love struck bosses may give you better projects; more mentoring time than your peers; take you to more lunches; offer you more flexible hours or other perks; be lax about your mistakes; or give you other special treatment. Sounds great? Well, unfortunately, favoritism in the workplace may not only lead to a disgruntled staff — it can result in a hostile work environment claim by other employees, and may lead to a court case.”
Ask your boss if there is anything you can do to make sure the relationship stays 100% professional and respectful
Be subtle, in case you’re wrong about your boss’s feelings. But if you’re 100% sure, here are a few things you could say: “Thanks for the compliment. I want to be upfront and honest, and don’t want to waste your time. I prefer to keep the relationship professional, but hope we can still remain friendly”.
“I’m flattered, but I think it would be better if we just have a professional relationship.”I view you as a great boss, and I wouldn’t want to cross the line and jeopardize the good work we do, so I must decline.”However, if you decide you do want to pursue a relationship with your boss, do so at your own risk
According to a Vault survey done some time ago, 16% of those who have had a romance at work have dated a supervisor. You could go for it and end up dating discreetly; falling in love; leaving the company for the sake of the relationship; and living happily ever after.
But the chances of that happening are slim. A CareerBuilder study found that only a third of office romances end in marriage. But, if out of eight billion people on the planet, your boss is the only one you want to date, move cautiously. If you don’t get along, you’ve got a lose-lose: your job and partner. Your boss has authority over your future, and if things go awry, your work life will become a messy challenge.” Beyond dealing with gossip and potential legal issues, you may have to give up a job you love; you could lose an otherwise good reference; and your reputation may be compromised
From an employers’ standpoint, manage training on flirtatious behavior should be ongoing so that employees can do their best work, trust their bosses, and remain productive. Only you can judge if this is a risk worth taking, but whatever you do, be decisive so you don’t languish in dilemma, inertia, or anger
You have the ability to set boundaries and the right to work in a professional environment.
7. They confide in you
Does your boss share work and personal confidences with you that you know they wouldn’t share with anyone else in your office?
“Yes, they may be doing this because they trust you, but it may also be because they want to deepen the relationship and sharing confidences is a proven way to do that
8. You get overblown promises from them
A boss who has a romantic agenda may intrigue you with a seemingly exaggerated view of your great future at the company. It may be difficult to discern if your manager is just as encouraging with everyone,. “But when your job outlook seems suspiciously rosy, take pause … and consider all the possible signs to get a realistic sense of their motivations.”
9. They invite you to spend time together outside of work
It might just be a simple coffee after work, but if this happens in addition to other signs, then this could be a red flag.
10. They suddenly change their appearance at work
New outfits, new haircuts, and more attention to detail might be because they’re hoping to catch someone’s eye at work, And it might be yours.
11. They value your opinion more than anyone else’s
Again, this could just be that they value and trust you as an employee — but if they ask you for input on personal issues, such as clothing choices, or even dating issues, then this might be a sign. Asking you for advice on their own love life could be totally innocent, but it might also be a ploy to suss out how you really feel about them.
12. They frequently offer compliments beyond work issues
If compliments are coming your way nonstop but they have nothing to do with work or start to sound inappropriate, then your boss may have more than a friendly affinity for you. While sexual harassment training has exploded over the years, managers can still become lax. So watch for this sign. Compliments about your appearance, fashion sense, or amazing personality are especially strong indicators. “Throwaway lines such as, ‘Anyone would be lucky to have you,’ may be signs they have a crush on you.”
If these types of comments make you feel uncomfortable, speak to your HR department immediately.
13. They give you gifts
If everyone in the company receives a motivational mug on Valentine’s Day that say. We love our employees” embedded in a big read heart, that’s wonderful. But it is not so endearing if your flirtatious boss secretly places Sweethearts candies on your desk
14. They laugh a little too easily, and a little too long, at your jokes
Overly effusive laughter can sometimes be a great “crush barometer,”
15. They remember everything you do or say
If your boss seems to remember everything you tell them — when they’re normally more forgetful — this could be a sign they are paying especially close attention to you.
People remember way more details about interactions with someone they have a crush on, partially because they’ve likely been obsessing about those details, looking for signs that.
“Remember last week when you were complaining about your new standing desk making your heels sore? You might not. But when someone else remembers, and sends along to a link for non-fatigue rugs and offers a discount through their office account? They’re into you.”
16. They treat you like they don’t like you
Of course, this could mean they simply don’t like you. But if your boss playfully teases or picks on you, it could be their way of flirting … or a way to hide their admiration.
17. They share a ton of inside jokes with you
If you’re in a fun, high energy office, you’re bound to have a few inside jokes with some of your coworkers. However, if your boss only seems to pal around with you, that could be a sign that you’re their favorite. In fact, it might even indicate that they like you as more than an employee.
By Emmanuel Osei Akoto