The Perks of Singledom


They say there is no feeling as beautiful as loving someone and having that someone love you in return. Those who experience it say it’s a divinely beautiful emotion. It feels like heaven–some say, and oh it’s one of those feelings that send butterflies tossing and turning in your tummy.

Love in whatever form (parental-kids love, man-woman love, etc) is indeed very important in life. According to psychologist–Abraham Maslow, the need to belong or love and be loved is third after physiological and safety needs are fulfilled, as captured on his popular “Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs”.

However, for some reasons, love is not always the solution, neither is belonging with or being in a relationship with someone. Sometimes situations occur that warrants one to remain single. This often paves the way for comments from friends and loved ones over how unfortunate it is for one to be alone. On the contrary though, being alone isn’t that bad as singledom comes with certain perks and I intend to take us through a few of them below;

You can work on yourself. Not being in a relationship means you get to work on yourself without anyone stopping you, giving you a quizzical expression when you mention taking a short course to upgrade yourself or denying you from taking any route for self-development. You are your own boss and you owe nobody any explanations.

You can save tons of time. You know how you want to watch a movie in the peace and comfort of your room, take a nap on a Saturday afternoon from a hard week’s work, have ample time for work or other endeavors but you simply cannot because you have to make time for sweetheart. Well imagine there not being a sweetheart in the picture, you’ll make all the time in the world for yourself and all the things you’d love to do.

Also being single means you can stay in touch with friends without anyone giving you the– I don’t like this your friend, or I don’t want you talking to this or that person. Interesting right? I know it’s not bad for a spouse or partner to lay claims in a relationship. In fact, declaring your territory is somehow a sign of how serious one is in a relationship but let’s face it, some people tend to be overbearing. Simply, a pain in the neck! So being single would mean you not having to deal with this kind of situation at all.

You can become more self reliant. Being with someone you truly love can be the best thing to happen to a person. However, it can also be the worst, if the person is too demanding or a downright control freak, making you feel like you can’t even decide what’s good for you, because he/she feels the right decision can only come from them. These people are toxic, they make you solely reliant on them for the simple reason that, you don’t trust yourself to do what’s best for you.

You can have a peaceful night rest when you’re single. I love this one, yes, I do. After a hard day’s work, supper, a favorite movie to ease my tired self, what I need next is a peaceful sleep to get me ready enough for the following day. Not an on and off happy night for when we’re at a good place and at a bad place respectively.

My last point to put across is one of my favorite reasons for being single, simply for naughty reasons. One has the opportunity to go on a date whenever one feels like it. Oh yes! Going on dates is good, especially after dating the wrong person. One might ask, how so? The answer is simple–after having one bad nut, you’ll be careful as to how to sift through the remaining nuts to choose the best for you.

So you see, being single does not mean your life is over or you have underachieved your life’s purpose. Having a life partner is good but not at the expense of your peace of mind. So if being single guarantees your general well-being, don’t be afraid to opt for that.


Suraya Alidu Malititi

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